i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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