david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
