I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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