Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
