I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
