Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
