Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
