i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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