he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
