My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
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