Fuck appropriateness.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
