butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You've changed since you got that strap on
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
