i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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