When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
