I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
