If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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