dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
