Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
