he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
