Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Dear god my vagina.
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