I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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