Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
