but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
