Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
