Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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