party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
ttyl tear gas
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize