The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
