I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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