Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
