just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
