The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
