What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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