I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Screwed.edu
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
