sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize