He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
