me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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