Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
