I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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