She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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