i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
