Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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