was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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