I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
