The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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