is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
