38 yer olds are good kisserssss
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
