ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize