You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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