He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
