I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Randomize
