Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize