There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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