He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
