remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
