we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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