He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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