She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize