what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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