apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize