Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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