Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
