my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Sorry my hands just texted you
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
