Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
