how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
