Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
