I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
